savagemama: Mourning a miscarriage

Growing up, I always thought I would have children. I have a brother and a sister who are much younger than I am and a boatload of cousins. Our family is tight-knit in our own southern, love-my-neck kind of way. When I looked at my life I always saw the sticky hands, curly hair and bare feet of babies. A miscarriage two summers ago forced me to look at the years ahead differently and I wasn’t very comfortable with what I saw. One thing no one tells you about pregnancy is that the minute you find out you are pregnant your life changes. Whether you mean to or not, you begin to make plans. And when that being you are carrying falls away, it takes a while to untie the plans you’ve worked into a nice, neat bundle, to make the shift back to being one person moving through the world. And most often, in our culture, we do this untying alone. [more]